Breaking Free: A Journey from Burden to Belonging

A Journey from Burden to Belonging: Once the stamp paper was neatly folded, I walked into the room, where Baba Jan was waiting for me. I could hear the familiar words of my mother, “Walking is slow; it will take time to come.” Everyone knew that I had suffered from polio as a child, which had left my right leg shorter and given me a slight limp. Running was never an option, but Mother could never miss an opportunity to comment on my limp. It seemed like she had more to say but fell silent when she saw me.

Breaking Free: A Journey

Baba Jan welcomed me warmly, as always, and my eyes grew wet. His warmth was the one constant in my life, but it had never been enough to protect me from the harsh realities of our household. Though he assured me that he would always support me, it rarely amounted to more than empty promises. Small wishes I had, like being allowed to study in peace, having a room of my own, or even just helping with household chores, went unfulfilled. I longed for a space to call my own in our large, two-story house, where I could keep my books without them being disturbed. But the responsibilities of the house, especially the care of my elder sister’s children, were thrust upon me.

Even though I was capable of helping my family, the physical demands of climbing stairs multiple times a day became unbearable. My right leg ached with every step, but when I complained, I was told that the pain was an excuse to shirk work. My studies were suggested as something I could abandon if they caused me so much trouble. Baba Jan’s promises to speak to Mother about lightening my load never materialized, leaving me to struggle silently.

As I walked into the room that day, I noticed Mother slipping to make room for me on the sofa, but I ignored her and sat on the chair in front of Baba Jan’s table. I could feel her disappointment, but I no longer cared. A few months ago, if Mother had made such a gesture, I would have been ecstatic. But now, the illusion of her affection has long since faded.

Back then, I had yearned for her approval, hoping to be included in the close bond she shared with my two elder sisters. When they visited every weekend, it was as if the three were irreparable. I would go to great lengths to serve them, making tea and breakfast and preparing their meals, all in the hope of earning a place among them. But my efforts were met with silence and indifference. They would laugh and talk until I entered the room, only to fall silent as if my presence was unwelcome. Over time, I realized that my place in their world was non-existent, and the camaraderie I craved would never be mine.

As my elder brothers and sisters began their own families, the house grew lively with children. Yet, the burden of caring for these children fell squarely on my shoulders. Despite being their aunt, I felt more like a servant, tending to their every need while my sisters lived their lives with freedom and ease. My complaints were dismissed, my pain ignored, and my dreams of further education set aside.

But today was different. Today, I had come to understand the depths of my family’s disregard for me. Baba Jan’s voice, usually calm and controlled, was now filled with anger I had never heard before. He spoke of the family’s decision to bring me back home, away from my in-laws, who were deemed unworthy. He assured me that they would never send me back and that my place was with them, safe from harm. But his words did not bring me comfort; instead, they highlighted the years of neglect and mistreatment I had endured.

As Baba Jan’s anger grew, so did my resolve. For the first time, I realized that I had the power to make decisions for myself. I had grown stronger and more confident and no longer needed their approval or protection. I looked at my parents, who now sat before me, expecting compliance as they always had. But I was no longer the obedient daughter they had once known.

In the months after my marriage, I had learned what true love and respect felt like. My in-laws, whom my parents had dismissed as poor and unworthy, had treated me with kindness and warmth. They had celebrated my successes, supported my education, and treated me as an equal member of their family. For the first time in my life, I felt valued.

I realized that the love I had sought from my parents had been misplaced. They were more concerned with appearances and what others thought than with my happiness. But my in-laws had shown me that love was about action, about caring for one another without expectation. They had welcomed me into their family, not because they had to, but because they wanted to.

As I held the stamp paper in my hand, I knew that this was my moment to break free from the past. I handed it to Baba Jan, who quickly took it from me and began to read. It was a legal document, relinquishing my claim to my father’s property, something my in-laws had insisted on doing out of respect for my family. I could see the shock in Baba Jan’s eyes as he read the words, and for a moment, I felt a pang of sadness. But I knew that this was the right thing to do. It was time to let go of the past and move forward.

“I’ve made my decision,” I said firmly. “I am staying with my in-laws, and I no longer need anything from you.”

My parents were stunned into silence. They had always assumed that I would be dependent on them, that I would return to them no matter what. But I had found a new family, one that valued me for who I was, not for what I could do for them. The valley of surprise that the poet Farid al-Din Attar had written about in his book had taught me many things. It had shown me that life was full of unexpected twists and turns and that true happiness could only be found when one embraced these changes.

As I left the room, I felt a sense of peace wash over me. I had finally found my place in the world, and it was not in the shadow of my parents’ expectations but in the light of my own self-worth.

1. A Childhood Marked by Struggles & Journey 

The story begins with the protagonist reflecting on their childhood, marked by the effects of polio, which left them with a shortened right leg and a slight limp. This physical challenge became a constant reminder of their limitations and the source of subtle but persistent remarks from their mother, who never missed an opportunity to comment on the limp. These comments, though seemingly harmless, were a constant source of pain.

2. The Weight of Family Expectations of Journey 

As the protagonist grew older, they faced increasing responsibilities within their family. Despite their physical limitations, they were expected to contribute to household chores and take care of their siblings’ needs, especially after the elder sisters were married off. The protagonist’s wishes, such as having a dedicated space for studying or receiving help with household tasks, were often overlooked or dismissed. Their father, though warm and kind, was unable to protect them from these burdens, leaving them feeling unappreciated and overwhelmed.

3. Unfulfilled Promises

Throughout their lives, the protagonist harbored small hopes and dreams that were never fulfilled. Despite their father’s assurances that he would advocate for them, these promises often went unfulfilled. This led to a growing sense of frustration and disillusionment. Even when the protagonist expressed their desire for a better life, such as getting into a good college or being relieved from some of the heavy household responsibilities, these requests were often ignored or forgotten.

4. Finding Strength in Adversity during Journey 

Despite the lack of support and the overwhelming responsibilities, the protagonist found strength in their adversity. They learned to endure the pain and navigate their way through the difficulties of life. The constant struggle to climb the stairs, the pain in their right leg, and the endless chores became a testament to their resilience. However, this strength also came at a cost, as the protagonist began to realize the deep-seated injustices they were subjected to within their family.

5. The Silent Burden of Care in Journey 

As time passed, the protagonist became the primary caregiver for their elder siblings’ children, adding another layer of responsibility to their already burdened life. The constant demands from their sisters and the lack of acknowledgment from their parents deepened the protagonist’s sense of isolation. Despite their efforts to gain the affection and recognition of their family, they were met with silence and indifference, which further exacerbated their feelings of alienation.

6. A Turning Point of Journey 

The turning point in the story comes when the protagonist is faced with a life-changing decision. After years of silently enduring the burdens placed upon them, they are finally given a choice. Their father, in an uncharacteristic display of anger, expresses his desire to protect the protagonist from further hardship. However, the protagonist’s reaction surprises everyone. They no longer feel the need to conform to their family’s expectations or seek their approval. Instead, they find the courage to assert their own will and take control of their destiny.

7. Discovering True Love and Acceptance  of Journey 

The protagonist’s life takes a positive turn after their marriage, where they experience genuine love and acceptance for the first time. Unlike their own family, their in-laws treat them with kindness and respect, acknowledging their efforts and supporting their dreams. This newfound love and support help the protagonist heal from the wounds of their past. They realize that the love they had always yearned for was not something they had to chase but something that could be given freely and unconditionally.

8. Letting Go of the Past for Journey 

As the protagonist grows in their new environment, they begin to let go of the past. The family that once burdened them now seems distant and irrelevant to their happiness. The protagonist realizes that their true value does not lie in fulfilling the unrealistic expectations of others but in being true to themselves. This realization empowers them to break free from the emotional chains that had held them back for so long.

9. Embracing Independence during Journey 

With a new sense of independence, the protagonist takes a bold step by confronting their family. They present a legal document, signed by their husband and father-in-law, relinquishing any claim to their late father’s property. This act symbolizes their break from the past and their decision to live life on their own terms. It is a powerful declaration of their independence and a rejection of the toxic dynamics that had dominated their life for so long.

10. A New Beginning in the Valley of Surprise of Journey 

The story concludes with the protagonist embracing a new beginning. They reflect on the lessons they have learned, particularly from the book given to them by their father-in-law, which speaks of the seven valleys of life. The final valley, the Valley of Surprise, symbolizes the protagonist’s journey towards self-discovery and spiritual awakening. They have moved beyond the pain of the past and are now ready to embrace the future with confidence and hope.